Jarritos Pineapple

What's Spanish for "bleh"?

This is goin to be a short review. Jarritos pineapple tastes exactly like pineapple flavored Lifesavers. It's over carbonnated to the point of being harsh. It's not quite unpleasant, but it's not that good either. I have no plans to ever try it again.

Verdict? If you really like pineapple Lifesavers and harsh carbonation, then this is your drink.

AriZona Soda Work's Rx Energy

Mmmm...old. 

Big Lots has three different varieties of soft drinks from Arizona Soda Works. Today I'm reviewing their Rx Enegy Vitamin Soda Tropical & Citrus Blend Elixir. The name rolls right off the tongue, huh? That's probably why it's at Big Lots for 59 cents and not in the fridges at your local supermarket for $2 a bottle. Well, that and the fact that it doesn't taste very good.

This stuff contains panax, Siberian ginseng, guarana, schisandra, and vitamins A, C, & E. But so what? Is it drinkable? Yes. Is it good? Not really. It's not bad, it's just not that enjoyable and refreshing. There's a harshness and citrus peal bitterness to it that I'm not that fond of. But it's drinkable and for 59 cents, it's not bad.

I couldn't dig up anything online about Arizona Soda Works at first, but then I found an article on engery drinks that mentioned Rx Energy. The strange thing was that the company mentioned was called AriZona Beverage Company and the bottles shown were totally different than the ones I had. I went the to the website and there weren't any bottles that looked like what I had. It was the same company because the logo was the same as on my bottles. The above article on engery drinks was dated April 2001. Another article showing the newer bottles was dated January 2001. How old is the stuff I have? So I'm drinking a discontinued product that was bottled in 2000 or ealier? Oh, boy.

Final verdict? I'll get back to you.

Addendum: I sent the company two emails: one asking what year the company changed its name and another asking when the above soft drink variety was discontinued. Only the first question was answered: "It was never named AriZona Soda Works. That was a DBA for our AriZona Soda Beverages." In this context, I think "DBA" stands for "doing business as".

Also I've recently seen current AriZona Beverage Company product locally, but I don't have any plans to try it.

New final verdict? I have no idea. Do you want to drink old soft drinks that are cheap and don't taste that good? Yes? Then head on over to Big Lots.

Briar's Premium Root Beer

How do I tell if it's good? 

I found a bottle of Briar's Premium Root Beer at Big Lots for 49 cents. It has a strong wintergreen (i.e. Pepto-Bismol) taste like the dreaded Clover Valley root beer, but this is better, not hugely better, but still better. It's far sweeter and less unpleasant than Clover Valley, which wasn't particularly sweet. I thought it was nice in small sips and it did get better as I drank it. I liked Mug more than Briar's, but Briar's is OK.

Verdict? It was OK. Maybe root beer just isn't my thing.

Hansen's B-well

Hansen's b-well doesn't improve your spelling. 

Ever since I had that one can of Red Bull a few months ago, I've wanted a low-cost alternative. Of course there aren't any. And all of the various beverages in those funny Red Bull-type cans are the same price: $1.99 each. A few days ago I was poking through the detritus at Big Lots and found cans of Hansen's b-well "sparking orange drink" for 59 cents a can. The cans looked like the ones used by Red Bull, so I bought one.

The text on the can is interesting:

Scientific evidence now supports the benefits of taking certain vitamins and nutrients. These 'Anti-oxidant' agents help protect you from the harmful effects of free radicals.

Hansen's b-well conatains Vitamins A, C, and E, Selenium and Activin Grape Seed Extract, some fo the most powerful Antioxidents currents known. The herb Echinacea is added for its ability to support the body's system.

Hansen's b-well is a refreshing, great tasting, lightly carbonated orange flavored beverage. Drink Hansen's b-well daily to help maintain your good health.

It's the real Deal!

Suggested use: up to three (3) Cans per day.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Drink it every day? Up to three cans a day? They should rename this stuff something like Dr. Hansen's Vitality Elixir & Brain Food and sell it off the back of a truck at a state fair.

The taste? Kinda yucky, but nowhere near as bad as Clover Valley root beer or any diet soda I've had. It's sort of grapefruitish and not particularly sweet. There's also some other less palitable flavors in there that I can't quite place. Metal? Not terrible, but not exactly good either. And now that I think about it, Red Bull doesn't taste all that great either; I like it because it has a zing to it.

Since it was at Big Lots, I'm guessing it wasn't selling particularly well. The only way you could sell a beverage that tastes like this would be to tout its supposed health benefits. This isn't a fun, sexy, refreshing soft drink like the typical vending machine fair.

Verdict? I've had worse. It's drinkable and not too bad, but not particularly enjoyable. The main selling point in my opinion is the cheap price (if you can find it cheaply, that is).

Addendum: I think this product has been discontinued because I couldn't find it at the dreadful Hansen's website. Who knows how old the can I drank was.

Mr. Fizz Grape

Very cheap and tasty. 

At 17 cents a can, I didn't expect too much from grape Mr. Fizz, but I was pleasantly surprised. I found it at Dollar Duz It, one of those department stores where everything costs a dollar or less. I could've gotten a whole six pack for a buck, but I didn't want to risk it in case it tasted like paint thinner or something.

The taste is comparable to grape Chek, but grape Chek may be slightly better. Both are far better than grape Fanta. It's slightly more harsh than grape Chek, but not so much that it's unpleasant. The tartness is also similar to grape Chek. It doesn't have that grape Bubble Yum flavor.

My final verdict? Great! In fact, I liked it so much I plan on trying all the other Mr. Fizz flavors I can find.

Sangría Señorial

I found a site on Señorial Sangría.

Chek Grape

Cheap and delicious 

I got a can of Chek grape soda out of a vending machine in front of a Winn-Dixie grocery store for 25 cents. My first impression? Quite good. I think it blows away Fanta grape easily. It has a more mild taste without the harshness of Fanta. The Fanta grape reminded me of grape Bubble Yum, but Chek grape reminds me more of candies like Smarties. The flavor is somewhat tart, but not unpleasant.

Chek soda comes in a variety of flavors and has, I believe, been around at least since the 60's. It's considered a cheap knockoff brand, but I liked the grape well enough to want to try other Chek varieties.

There's not a whole lot more to say to say about Chek grape other than it's really cheap and quite good.

Clover Valley Root Beer

Gaaa-aaakk!!! 

Today's beverage is Clover Valley root beer. I've never liked root beer, but I haven't drank it in so long I couldn't really remember what the heck it even tasted like. Recently I was in Dollar General, a discount department store, so I decided to pick up a can of their Clover Valley brand root beer. The taste? Things come to mind like black licorice, Necco Waffers, and Pepto-Bismol. Seriously, the main flavor this stuff has for me right now is Pepto-Bismol. Clover Valley isn't exactly a top brand, so now I'm going to have to shell out some cash for a bottle of IBC or ICB or ICBM or whatever the hell it's called to see if that tastes like Pepto-Bismol too. And just what kind of root is this stuff supposed to taste like anyway?

From what I've turned up online, root beer was traditionally made from the roots of sassafras tree, but it also supposedly contained things like birch, sarasaparilla, anise, molasses, etc. For more information on the subject than anyone could possibly want, try Stout Billy's Information Library.

What flavor is Pepto-Bismol? I did a little research and found out it's wintergreen. In some of the root beer reviews I've read online, sometimes a root beer or birch beer will be described as having a wintergreen taste. Apparently wintergreen and birch contain the chemical Methyl Salicylate, so they taste very similar. Mystery solved. But the mystery of why a company would manufacture a beverage that tastes as horrible as Clover Valley root beer will have to remain a mystery.

Worse than even diet soda, Clover Valley root beer is my new standard of awfulness, but I drank it anyway.

Addendum: A few days later I drank a bottle of Mug root beer and thought it was pretty good. But since I didn't get a picture of the bottle or take notes, I'll have to give it a proper review another time.

SoBe Elixir

Mmmm...lizards. 

Yesterday I broke two of my unwritten rules for this site: (1) I drank the whole bottle before I remembered to take a picture of it, and (2) said beverage wasn't carbonated. The beverage in question was SoBe Elixir's "pomegranate cranberry flavored juice beverage", which I picked up at a local gas station. The ingredients list several other juices, but I guess they thought "pomegranate cranberry apple grape cherry raspberry elderberry juice beverage" was a bit too long. Anyway, it was red-colored, too expensive, and delicious.

SoBe Elixir is yet another of those beverages that has vitamins and herbs in it that are supposed to perk you up or whatever. I've never felt particularly perked up after drinking any of these types of drinks, with the possible exception of Red Bull. Of them, SoBe Elixir's "pomegranate cranberry flavored juice beverage" is easily the best. The only stike against it is the price. At $1.69 for a 20 oz. bottle, it's just too expensive. It's cheaper than Red Bull, but doesn't have Red Bull's strange ingredients.

And why do they put lizards on the bottle? Lizards don't whet my appetite. I don't even want to think about lizards when I'm drinking or eating. Sort of reminds me of the bizarre and repulsive-looking salamander brandy from Solvenia. (And, yes, I know lizards are reptiles and salamanders are amphibians.)

Final verdict on SoBe Elixir's "pomegranate cranberry flavored juice beverage"? I love it, but it's too expensive.

Jarritos Tamarind

Mmmm...brownish and cloudy. 

The Mexican soft drink Jarritos Tamarind is unlike any soft drink I've ever drank. How does one describe the flavor of tamarind? Dark? Weird? Acidic? Sickly sweet? Vaguely sour? Nasty? I don't know. The stuff's so different from tastes I'm used to that I can't decide if I like it or not.

My only other experience with tamarind was a piece of strange Mexican candy I had once. That was odd tasting stuff, but I gladly ate it. I decided to look up tamarind candy at Google, and, much to horror, quite a few of the results delt with toxic levels of lead in certain tamarind candies. Lovely. My own personal favorite article on tamarind is at Bad Candy.

Tamarind soda's not that bad, just unusual if you've never had it before. And, after I wrote the previous sentence, I took a swig from the bottle and made a face. But after drinking it a bit, I got used to the taste and it's sort of good. Kinda.

It's sort of a cloudy, dirty orange color, not that bright, artificial color of orange sodas. I don't know if I'll ever drink this stuff again. I wouldn't say it's bad, just different from my concept of good, but I'll take it any day over any diet soda.

Do I recommend it? If you want something different from any other cabonated beverage you've ever had, then I do recommend it. You probably won't like it, though.

Senorial Sangría

Now kids can look like winos! 

In Mexico sangría must be a common soft drink flavor like cola is here. I reviewed Barralitos sangría last week and today I'm reviewing Senorial sangría. I have no idea if there's any other sangría brands, but I'm sure there are. Perhaps Barralitos and Senorial and the Coke and Pepsi of Mexico and people get into big arguments about which is better. For what it's worth, Barralitos is my favorite, but Senorial is very good as well. (And I prefer Coke to Pepsi.)

Senorial sangría comes in a bottle that looks like it should have wine in it. The color is darker and browner than the Barralitos variety. If you took some Coke and thinned it out with a little water and then poured in a little grape juice, it would probably look like Senorial. (I have no idea what that concoction would taste like. Why don't one of you try it and tell me?) It's probably as heavily carbonated as Coke or Pepsi, which makes it a little less pleasant to me. Oddly, it tastes quite good flat, something I can't say about Coke, Pepsi, or Sprite. The taste is very grapey, but it's a real grape flavor rather than the strong, artificial, grape Bubble Yum flavor of grape Fanta. (Did I put the word "grape" enough times in that last sentence?)

So, even though I said I prefer Barralitos sangría to Senorial sangría, Senorial is quite good and I highly recommend trying it if you can find it. At my local grocery store an 11.16 oz. bottle costs 69 cents. A bargain if you want to try something different than the usual cola/lemonlime/etc. fare available in the U.S.

Photos

Yes, I know my photos are terrible. I have a cheap digital camera. Bear with me.

Fanta Grape

It's so...purple 

I'd been trying to track down a run-of-the-mill grape soda to compare to Barralitos sangría and I wasn't having much luck. I went to a grocery store and they had the store brand in 2 liter bottles for some pitance, but that was way too much soda for someone who just wanted to sample the stuff. They also had a vending machine out in front with store brand varities in it, but, of course, it was out of order. The soft drink gods were trying to tell me something. After a few days of searching, I finally found a 20 oz. bottle, but I paid through the nose for it. I went to a discount department store where they sell all kinds of really cheap junk. And I do mean junk. They even have some cheap sodas I'll probably be reviewing in the future, but no cheap grape soda. Nope, the grape soda was up near the cash-registers in a refridgerated display. All Coca-Cola product. I ended up paying $1.24 for a 20 oz. bottle of grape Fanta. Never again.

Grape Fanta tastes like the grape soda I remembered from many, many years ago when I used to drink the stuff on occasion. It doesn't taste like Barralitos sangría much at all, in my opinion. The flavor mainly reminds me of grape-flavored Bubble Yum. It's heavily carbonated and a little harsh. The flavor's strong and it's very sweet. At first I found it slightly unpleasant, but I got used to it quickly. After drinking it a bit, I began to like it. Once the bottle was finished, I began to feel slightly ill. Maybe it was the grape soda or maybe it was the two Milky Way bars I ate while I drank it. Oh, yeah, I also ate a bunch of Planter's Cheez Balls. Maybe I should cut back on the junk food. Naah. It had to be the Fanta.

Would I drink grape soda of any kind again? Sure. It's not the best thing I've ever had, but it's OK. Anyway, it's better than orange soda, which I find unpleasantly harsh.

Mountain Dew Pitch Black

I done the Dew 

Today's review is of the new "limited edition" Mountain Dew Pitch Black. First off, I should say that having a limited edition softdrink is kind of stupid. Are we supposed to save bottles of it? This is really just a ploy to test market a new flavor. If it sells like crazy then they can pretend to bow to popular demand and make it permanent part of their line. And if it doesn't sell, they can just say, "It was a limited edition. We never planned on making it a permanent part of the line."

Actually, I'd planned on reviewing any run-of-the-mill grape soda I could find to compare it to Barralitos sangría. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any regular old grape soda. Of course, I only checked two stores, but still, you'd think it'd be easy to find. Anyway, since this stuff was supposed to be grape flavored, I thought it might be interesting. And it was.

The first thing I noticed about Mountain Dew Pitch Black was that it wasn't black. I was hoping for something freakishly black, sort of like thinned out India ink maybe. It's actually dark purple. Disapointing.

The second thing I noticed was that it didn't taste like grape to me. Another online review I read said the taste was, "Shockingly strong grape. Grapier than Grape Ape. I don't think I could down more than a swallow even on the grapiest day of my life." To me it tasted like some kind of tropical fruit candy. Not grape-like at all to my taste-buds. But was it good? It was OK and I had no trouble at all polishing off a 16 oz. bottle. It was far better than I thought it would be. I think it's better than Mountain Dew Code Red, but what isn't? Bleh. I don't know if I'd ever buy it again, but if someone offered me a glass, I wouldn't turn it down if that was all they had.

Barralitos Sangría

Mmmm...bloodletting 

Our first oddball softdrink is Barralitos sangría. OK, I know some of you are reading this and saying, "Barralitos sangría? That's his idea of oddball? We got Barralitos sangría out the wazoo! What's he going to review next, Mountain Dew?" Well, it's oddball for here where I live, not where you live. And if Mountain Dew wasn't that common here, I'd review it. So there. But I digress.

Our area has a growing Hispanic population, so more and more unusual items are popping up in the grocery stores. Last week when I was looking for something else, I found a small selection of Mexican soft drinks, and among them was Barralitos sangría. If you don't know, sangría is a mixture of wine and fruit juice. It also translates into English as bleeding or bloodletting. Mmmm...refreshing, huh?

It's basically just grape soda. But unlike the grape soda I dimly recall drinking many years ago, it's not harsh, nor is it that unnatural purple color. Barralitos sangría is a dark burgandy with a brownish hue. Sort of like wine, I guess. Does is taste like wine? I dunno, I don't drink wine.

Note to self: buy some grape soda to make a comparison.

So, is it any good? Yes, I love the stuff. It's lightly carbonated, so it's not harsh, the flavor isn't obnoxious, and it's not too sweet. I wish I could buy it in 2 liter bottles. And, speaking of bottles, this was the first time in maybe 20 years that I drank a softdrink out of a traditionally shaped glass bottle. The tall and narrow shape is very much like the old Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, etc. bottles I grew up with. I even got to use my vintage bottle opener I bought at a thrift store to use on 35mm film canisters.

If you can find it, buy some. Here, it only cost 59 cents for a 12 oz. bottle.

I'm Late, I Know

I'm actually going to post a review today. Really, I am. You gotta believe me. Unfortunately, I can't put up the photo I was going to post because I forgot how that Hello thing works. I've only ever used it once, but I did successfully post a picture with it that one time, I swear! Hopefully, I can put the photo up later. One of the things that excited me about doing this blog was posting photos of the various soft drink bottles and cans.

I have no life.

What?

I've been blogging for over a year and a half and I've gotten kind of bored with my main blog. It's rough coming up with witty and wacky stuff on a regular basis. In fact, I've pretty much failed at coming up with witty and wacky stuff on a regular basis. Anyway, I decided to start a new blog that focused on one thing: oddball soft drinks. I can write about oddball soft drinks a couple of times a week. I think. Maybe. We'll see.

The title of the blog came from an old Foghorn Leghorn cartoon where he was romancing a widowed hen to, I believe, get at her money. (I haven't seen this cartoon in years.) He tried to ingratiate himself with her nerdy, bespeckled son. At one point the kid's fooling around with his chemistry set. Foghorn comes along, picks up a test tube, and says, "Well, let's see what you're making there, boy. Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk. Looks like sody-pop. Watch it fizz!" He shakes it up and it explodes in his face.

Also, to my everlasting horror, I found out there's a Britney Spears song with the line, "Mm-hmm soda pop, watch it fizz and pop (ooh)". I've never heard it, and, frankly, I don't want to hear it.